it's the final countdown

i have less than a month left before baby girl comes. i have major emotions from every which way flowing through me. i am VERY excited to meet my little bundle. i want to see her and hold her and stare at her and smell her. i have been looking through jamie's old picts and videos and can't believe how fast time has gone already and how little she was and just remembering so much. i feel like my life didn't really start and i didn't really know who i was until i became a mom. i also have crazy anxiety about how i'm going to handle TWO kids. i have to remind myself that people do it, and have done it for forever, so i will be able to. but i still am very nervous. i feel guilty that jamie won't have me 100% like she does now, this is probably my biggest issue - guilt! i feel overwhelmed bc i know how tired and exhausted it will be in the early months. even though i've gone through it before, i'm nervous to give birth again (and think it's so unfair how long it takes to recover physically!). i have never been a person who enjoys going into the "unknown".. i've pretty much always hated not knowing exactly what to expect. but even though i have all these feeling (and way way more) i know it will be wonderful, and billy and jamie and i will make it through and our new baby girl will be the perfect addition to our family and we won't be able to picture life without her!