Christmas

so christmas is over.. it went fast! this year we had a great time. my sister came in town and i got to spend time with her, which i love so much! it was great watching her with jamie and sam.. the way jamie says "aunt tammy" is just so cute. on christmas eve my side of the family ate a yummy dinner at my bro's house, then we went to church and got to see my nephew max sing and that was so sweet, i had to distract myself from crying bc i could have totally lost it with how sweet and innocent those children are singing to Jesus. after church we came back to my house and we had some dessert and opened presents. it is so fun watching the kids all freak out. and i got some pretty awesome things too! it was a late night, but such fun! for a long time i always felt akward being a hostess having people over to my house, but lately i am kinda finding i like it more and more! On christmas day we slept in a bit and had our own christmas with the 4 of us and a few presents we didn't open with my fam. it was sweet, i love just being mellow and enjoying eachother. in the afternoon we went to billy's side of the family and had fun too. we opened gifts, ate food and then i took the girls on a car ride bc they both were tired. they fell asleep within like 5mins in the car. when we got back we had dessert then relaxed and talked. it was a great christmas this year.. this next week billy only is working 2 days and then has another long weekend.. another reason why i love this time of year.. i get to have my billy home alot more than normal! jamie's 3rd birthday is next week.. so i need to start thinking about that. we are going to get her a big girl bed and i can't wait to see how that all goes! ciao for now!

i love my man

just wanted to write publicly how much i love and appreciate billy. he's a wonderful husband and amazing dad. he knows more than anyone how hard it can be for me staying home with the girls all day, everyday. so he gives me breaks and lets me get out at night if i need to, either with a friend, or to exercise, or take a bath if i need, or takes them in the basement if i just need quiet time in my kitchen to clean or make dinner. i just love him and appreciate him. he works hard all day and comes home to probably not a clean house, or a put together looking wife, or perfectly behaved, non-whining kids, or even dinner waiting for him some nights, but still, he comes home and is happy and jumps right in to the chaos happily. he is more than i could have asked for, and i am a very lucky girl!

crazy bdays and mourning naptime loss

well. i have been busy. the last few weeks we celebrated 2 bdays in my little family. billy turned 30 and samantha turned 1! man this yr flew by. i remember last yr having billy's 29th bday party like it was yesterday, we had his party early bc i was so pregnant and good thing we did bc i had sam the next day i think. anyways, highlights of all we did so far (we still have to formally celebrate with the tkaczuk side plus it was my dad's and amber's bday too) are:

-decorated sami's room with crete paper, something my mom did that i always loved and i am doing with my girls, we sang to her and got her little toys and clothes and just spent the day remembering and being together the 4 of us.
-celebrated with the hemmingson side, had everyone over for billy and sam's bday, i made a big lunch and cupcakes. everyone hung out, talked, played ping pong, ate and looked at pictures of billy and sami
-billy and i went to piccolo pete's, an old steakhouse in downtown that is supposedly good.. we don't agree though :-)
-had a husker party at a sportsbar with friends for billy's 30th also, and that was alot of fun
-for billy's bday i got him a snowblower (also benefitting me!) and a trip to vegas, which we were going to do in december, but i think we will wait until after the holidays.

we did alot of other little things too, but mix in going to see Curious George Live with jamie and me being sick, then jamie being sick, then hosting playdates and other randoms and i am tired! we did have a small thanksgiving this yr, just the 4 of us. i made my first turkey and it turned out great, but i am not a fan of handling a whole bird.. grossed me out alot. now i can say i've done it though! i missed our families alot. as much as i can be negative and get totally overwhelmed on holidays, i do like having places to go and family to be with. the one negative thing that happened over thanksgiving wknd was the loss of naptime. idk what happened with jamie, but she just started whining everytime we laid her down for a nap. i got soo mad and frustrated with her bc it was the same everyday, i'd lay her down as normal and 1min later she'd whine and be loud and so i'd try to calm her, but she'd do it again and again and obviously wasn't going to nap. and since i didn't want to let her wake up sam (who naps like a champ) i let her come down, but she knew momma wasn't happy. so after fighting it for awhile i have embraced it, mainly bc if i don't, i'll cry. :-) so i've only done this for a day, but now we have quiet time. when sami goes down, jamie has to be quiet. i usually put a movie on for her and i still do my thing. i don't let her run around and she has to whisper. i encourage her to lay down, but i think she's too excited for that at this point. naptime was bound to end.. i will miss it. i lived for it. there's always wknds when billy is home for me to have a nap if i need. but she's growing, can't nap forever. we're going to transition her to a big girl bed soon and i'm sure she would climb out of it anyways pretty quick. i'm sure there will be days where she will fall asleep on the couch or in the car bc she is still quite little, but i think this is for the best for her. plus earlier bedtime!!!!! wooohooo for that! i will post some pics soon! until next time!

halloween!

Halloween this year is over. Although we basically had to force jamie to trick or treat (what kid wouldn't want free candy? MINE) we had fun. jamie went as strawberry shortcake and sami was a strawberry. aren't they cute? next year i think jamie will be some sort of princess bc every little girl she saw in a frilly dress she loved.

here's a few sweet shots of the girls today. i love that they are finally starting to play with eachother and be on the same level. love my girlies!

another to the list

i forgot to put that i want to start learning to play the piano. i've always wanted to! i think i want to take lessons.

end years resolutions

i'm in a mood to set resolutions for myself and don't feel like waiting until the new year.. so here i go:

-have more confidence in my abilities, i often just give up on things, shut my brain off or do something poorly when i get frustrated and i want to prove to myself that i can do whatever and my only limitation is what i put on myself

-be more "girly". the last 3-4yrs have been taken over by pregnancy and babies and i have lived in sweats (which i've enjoyed and still do) but i want to rediscover the fun of dressing up and putting effort into my appearance and feel pretty. so this will include, clothes obviously, but also, maybe try to wear jewelry (i never do), try to do different things with my hair, even though my hair is not cooperative majority of the time, paint my fingernails and toenails sometimes. just little things. i know i will always be a simple girl bc that's just me, less is more to me, but sometimes a little something makes a big statement.


-add more veggies into the daily routine. i am proud of myself for losing weight on my own and exercising regularly, but i know i'm not getting as many veggies in as i should, so i want to find new ways to prepare and eat them. kinda thinking trying 1 new veggie a week or month will be fun.

-try out school. i never went to college, beauty school just doesn't count in my head. i've always thought about going, but again, marriage, pregnancy, kids, and here i am. so i am going to enroll and try it. i have no idea really what i want to do, but i want to see what it's like so i won't keep talking about it and not doing it. so english 101 (or something quite generic like that) here i come! plus there is a community college pretty much down the street from me. i'll only do like 1 class a semester or something.

-pay attention to the world. this goes with the first one kinda. this world makes me sad, the little that i do hear and tune into makes me feel horrible. but i know that not listening/turning off my ears, does not make it go away.

-keep taking time for me. when jamie was first born, and even now, i have trouble leaving my girls. as much as i want to get away from them at times, the second i walk out the door, mommy guilt hits me, so do all the sweet memories, and none of the tantrums and screaming for no reason memories. along with mommy guilt, i have wife guilt bc billy stays with them most of the time and i feel bad i'm not with him and also that usually he has worked all day and he comes home and i'm leaving to go have fun. i am getting alot better than i was, but i still want to get out and have "jody time".


there are more things i want to do. i will add to this later on. just wanted to get things written out so i can reread when i need to in the future.

mops

so i joined a program called MOPS (mother's of preschoolers). they meet all over in various churches and places and it's a place for moms to get together and hear a message, talk and make a craft and the kids go to their classes seperately. i have to say i was nervous and didn't know if i'd like it. sometimes that kind of stuff is just not my thing. however, we've gone twice now and i am really enjoying it! it is so nice to have a break from the kids and know that they are just a door away and being taken care of and if they need me, i can be there in 5seconds. (sidenote: they are both doing really well with being in their classes!) it's nice to hear from other moms that i am not the only one who struggles. it's nice to just sit somewhere and listen to other people speak and not have to attend to my girls and make sure they're being good and quiet. this last week they had the "mentor moms" (mothers with grown kids) say what they were thankful they had done when their kids were young. just hearing things they said made me feel good and made me want to make sure i was doing some of those things. hearing things they struggled with are the same things i struggle with and how they tried to remedy it. for me, motherhood gets so lonely and i feel so misunderstood with my emotions, so being with other moms who are on the same page (but with their own issues) is good i think. the craft that we made this week was a lemon hand scrub, that was fun, it'll be good to have when i need a good scrub after painting or something. i'm hoping to meet more new people and develop some new friendships that will go beyond the MOPS arena.

giggly girl

Sami is such a sweetie. she is so easy going and silly. here's a cute video of her laughing and playing with mommy.

First day of "school"

We decided awhile ago that jamie (and mommy) needed a little change. I LOVE being a stay at home mommy to both my girls, but it is also beyond the hardest job i will ever have. Trying to keep the girls entertained 24/7, and keeping my sanity, gets hard sometimes. Although i know jamie is in the "terrible 2's", i felt like she needed a little time out from mommy and from her normal everyday once in awhile. So we signed her up at a local church that is 2minutes from our house for a Kids Day Out. She will go once a week for 2.5hrs. I think that small amount of time will be the biggest blessing for her and me and sami. She will be able to interact without me and will learn to listen to teachers and follow direction and make friends and just be social. She is alot like me emotionally, and i know how i was with my mom, totally attached and sometimes if my mom was there, all i would do is stay by her instead of venturing out. My mom agrees that space really helped me (and will help jamie) develop in ways that she wouldn't if we were always home together. So this morning we all loaded up and took her to school. Billy even worked from home so he could come too. As we were driving there i started tearing up. We got there and jamie walked right in and was as happy as could be. She immediately started playing and talking to the teachers and even let them hold george, which if you get to hold george, you are in. So we hugged and kissed her goodbye, trying to hold in my tears and left. We both cried on the way home. I was scared for her and felt like i was abandoning her and she'd be scarred for life. Once i got over the weird feeling of her not being home, we relaxed a little bit. We did an errand, played with sami, got a coffee, and 2.5hrs later we headed to pick her up. I walked in and she was playing happy and saw me and ran over and hugged me and said "i missed you momma!" MELT MY HEART! i talked with her teachers and they said she did great. She apparently got a little upset and cried, but they said only for a few minutes and then was over it. They colored, had snacks, played in the gym and then back to the classroom for more play. I was so relieved and felt so good. All my fears and anxiety went away. I know she'll have good days and bad throughout the year (and her life!) but i feel like this is so good for her. Every experience like this in parenting just makes me think of my parents and how they went through all this too, so thanks mom and dad for everything, even for crying while you sent me to school.

seven years!

today is billy and my seven yr wedding anniversary (i need to get some old wedding picts out!). i love him. our life has changed so much in the last seven years, when we got married billy was still in college, we lived in an apartment, and since then alot has happened including cars, houses, graduations and two beautiful babies. i won't get to sappy, but i will simply put i am the luckiest girl in the world. tonight we went to try the new yogurt place in town red mango (like chick filet.. overated), but still it was time with my honey! after that we went to midtown crossing and walked around and sat in the park area and talked and laughed, it was great. after that we went to loft 610, a cool restaurant/bar and had a drink and appetizer. i want to go back there and eat and hang out sometime. then we went to the cinedine theater and saw a movie and ate dinner. that was a fun experience, not special food, just like most bar food, but now we can say we've done it. it was great to just spend time with billy alone and be silly with eachother. i love when we get to laugh together. maybe the best part of the day though was after we got home and the girls were both in the front room with billy and all i heard was him being silly and the sound of jamie and sami giggling uncontrollably. my life is so wonderful, i love you billy.

welp, we did it!

our first family vacation is under our belts. i have to say it was good, it went well, we had fun, and i have great memories. both girls did great in the car, sami slept most of the time and jamie made it about halfway without whining, then we took a break and played in the mall and ate at chick filet (which is overated), after that we played a movie for her to watch and we were there before we knew it! the cabin was nice, we were able to do whatever and it was awesome to be together. jamie didn't do so good not sleeping in her bed, every night she cried/screamed herself to sleep (even though we tried to comfort her), once she fell asleep she slept all night, but first thing in the morning she cried to get out. so that was no fun, but let's not dwell right? haha. here is a video of her and billy in the pool. she loved swimming, absolutely loved it. we would all swim, then sami and i would head back for sam's nap and they would stay and keep swimming. when they finally came back the would both just rest on the couch for a long time and watch a movie and eat tons of food to restore their energy. i love my family. more to come later...

skippers

jamie is my quirky girl. i love her. she is so sweet and silly. i've said lately that before i was a mom, when i pictured my first baby, i more so invisioned sami.. calmer, easy going, mellow, etc. but i got jamie first! she is such a challenge sometimes, she is so emotional and tender hearted (as is momma), and loud, but i love her more than words. i'm glad God gave her to me, and gave sami to me. my girls are my world, my days are defined by them, my life is incomplete without them. i feel so blessed to be living the life i have. billy is such a wonderful husband and daddy. here is a video of my silly jamie and her daddy doing "skippers" in the basement. jamie came up with this, she runs, then does a little side kick thing and i was laughing so hard the first time she did it. then billy came home and i see that he too is quite skilled at the skippers.

ahhhhhhhhhh

serenity now, serenity now, serenity now. just one of those afternoons.

motivation, where are you?

so quietly, i am trying to lose weight on my own. i have done good so far, actually over 10lbs and counting! but i made noodles. mongolian style last night. motivation out the window with a simple bite of yummy noodles with a sweet sauce. i did throw a ton of veggies in, but still, something about stirfry noodles just does me in everytime. maybe it's bc when i usually eat noodles like that, it's at Huhot and that place is like a feeding trough where you feel like you have to consume plate after plate in order to get your money's worth. so lesson learned.. no more noodles for awhile bc i apparently turn into a monster who can't get enough noodles. besides the noodle fiasco, why is it that motivation goes away.. it's frustrating, when you start something, in the beginning you want it so bad, you do everything right, but then time goes on and that feeling fades. idk if it's motivation, or endurance. but, i still am on a quest! i just need to keep trying on old pairs of pants and remembering how good it feels to be able to get into them when a month ago i couldn't zip them. one saying that really stuck with me is "you got yourself this fat, you have to be the one to fix it" haha! i think i can, i think i can, i think i can..

jumping

every night jamie has many rituals before she goes to bed. she's always been one who loves consistency and routine in her days.. as does her mama! one of her and sami's rituals is jumping on mommy and daddy's bed before we brush teeth. i figure this will be one of the fun things she will probably remember when she grows up.. "my mommy let me jump on the bed!" one of her fave things when she jumps is billy sweeping her feet out from under her. here's a short video of her and billy playing.

i love my girls and billy so much. yesterday was father's day and we had a great day all around. we went to my parents for a nice brunch and hung out with jeremy's fam too and played cards and bingo (which i think we need to do more games!). after that we headed to billy's parents and took a longer drive so jamie could get a small nap in the car. we had a good time there too, the rain stopped for a little bit and jamie was able to jump on the trampoline and some of the family played whiffleball. good day with good food and family. i am thankful for my daddy, billy and his daddy. it's a wonderful life!

not much, just rambling

i got nothing exciting to say. the girls are both doing well. jamie lately has been defiant in everyway she can be. she is still a good girl, but if you tell her no, she says "DON'T", if you do something she says "NO, ME DO IT!", if you tell her to be quiet, she screams.. and she screams LOUD.. very loud and very often. I know this is due to her being 2, but i also think this is just her personality. I remember her as a baby just squealing.. and it was the loudest squeal i've ever heard from a baby. i hope she calms down a bit.. i'm thinkin social interaction is something she needs.. hearing no from someone else, or seeing other people's reactions maybe will make her realize. i am thinking i'm going to sign her up somewhere next fall for a once or couple times a week preschool, probably at a church, for a few hrs. it'll be good for her. both the girls are so clingy with me, which i love that they love me, but i think it's bc i am the only one who is in charge, and we are together everyday. Sami won't really go to anyone for long without just crying until i hold her.. and as soon as i do, she is fine. people ask if she's a good baby and i say "for me she is" but poor billy, she's not very nice to him sometimes.. he's a wonderful daddy to both of them, once sami grows up a bit, she will realize that daddy is alot of fun.. as jamie has realized. she can't wait for him to get home so they can play in the basement, or outside, or go to "mards" (Menards) together. Speaking of sam, like i said she's a good baby. she still doesn't like being on her tummy at all, but she can sit up by herself and reach for things without falling over. she's pretty cute, loves her jumperoo and will be in there for hours if we let her.. and that's a nice break for my arms! She sleep through the night and naps pretty consistently lately. She's eating baby food and babbling alot. Billy and I are truly blessed. I love my girls more and more each day and am so thankful for my babies and my hubby.. and my whole family, friends and life for that matter! thanks for reading!

seasons are a changin

it's spring. i love the cool crisp air. i very much love that we can go outside and jamie can run. sami likes to sit outside in my lap and look around. i want a fence for my backyard, but it's so dang expensive that i'm not sure that'll happen. sometimes i feel like all i do when billy comes home is tell him another thing i want to buy and spend his hard worked for money on. soo, i am trying to convince myself it's ok not to have one this second. i do however want a swingset badly :-) jamie will love it and sami will be out there this summer too probably.. and it'll save me gas money right? haha. back to the weather.. i love spring, fall is my absolute favorite (i live for hoodie and flipflop weather) summer is actually not a season i really look forward to, sunshine is great, and if i didn't have babies to watch and run after and load up and carry around, maybe i'd be in a better head space about it, but i hate being hot and sweaty. i don't mind winter, this one was very long, but i like being cozy and inside. i look forward to days when i can do to the pool and the girls can splash and swim and i can just soak up rays on the side. i have memories of swimming with my mom (we had a pool down the hill in the park behind our house and would swim like every day) and i wanted her to sit on the side so i could use her legs to float on.. she never wanted to, and i understand that now.. probably wasn't as appealing or comfortable for her as it was for me. :-) this post is random.. as am i. well, that's all for now!

things i've done while holding sam

i've always been quite proud of myself for the things i can do 1-handed because i'm holding sam. and just holding her is quite a feat because she's getting so chunky.. my arms and hands go numb alot! here are a few from today:

-lifted jamie out of bed
-put toothpaste on jamie's toothbrush (while holding her toothbrush between my teeth)
-tried to comb jamie's hair
-made a bottle
-put dvd in player (which is on the ground)
-opened a new bag of frozen chicken nuggest, put some on plate, microwaved, and cut up for lunch
-played with playdoh
-put laundry in dryer - harder than it sounds
-used the bathroom (yes, sometimes it's worth it to keep sam happy.. i'm sure it'd be hilarious to see)
-helped jamie use the potty.. that one is probably the hardest because i have to help balance her on the potty and hold sam
-fed sam a bottle and checked my email
-talked on the phone (which can cause a neck cramp quite easily)
-texted (which takes forever bc i have to do 1 letter at a time)

there are many more, but you get the picture! i love my girls, i wouldn't change anything! it's nap time now and they are both asleep, so i get to rest and just do what i want.. my favorite time of the day!

irate bear

we were in the basement playing last night and billy started chasing jamie with this big bear (it was mine when i was little). it just made me laugh bc the bear looks alive almost as it's swinging at her. maybe it was funnier in the moment.. but i'm still posting it!

things with us are going very well lately! we are in a groove and i'm feeling pretty back to "normal".. whatever that means being a mom! i just rejoined jazzercise which is nice to be able to go workout and move and dance around, hopefully 50lbs will just fall off.. yeah right! this wknd we just relaxed mostly, got our taxes together and with the return we will be able to pay off our debt from the basement project and credit cards which will be great! there once was a time we had absolutely no debt and money in the bank.. i want to get there again! and we will!

2

jamie leigh turned 2 years old yesterday! it was a great day, i sang happy birthday to her when she woke up and basically let her have whatever she wanted throughout the day (even though i pretty much do that every day! haha). i attempted to make elmo cupcakes, but since it was a last minute, not planned well, rushed thing, they turned out kinda funny.. more of a pink than red elmo, with blue eyes and mouth.. apparently you can't make black frosting, you have to buy it. still though, they were cute and yummy. we went to pizza with my family as we do every monday night and that was fun as usual. when we came home we gave jamie her presents, i bought her a pillow and made pillow cases, one with strawberry shortcake (her current obsession) and one with care bears (a past obsession and still a favorite). i also got her a color wonder book to color in and some big girl panties.. which leads me into the next exciting thing.. jamie used the potty last night too. she has been interested for awhile, we have a little potty chair we just set in the living room and encouraged her to use, but she never liked it. she would run around naked and hold her pee in, then when she couldn't stand it anymore she'd get all upset and end up having an accident. but last night she sat on the regular potty in the bathroom and went like a pro and has already used it twice today. i think that little potty in the middle of the room didn't make sense to her which is why she didn't use it. so i am hoping she sticks with it! here's a video of her bday and eating a cupcake.. kinda long, but cute!