Thursday, October 21, 2010
another to the list
i forgot to put that i want to start learning to play the piano. i've always wanted to! i think i want to take lessons.
end years resolutions
i'm in a mood to set resolutions for myself and don't feel like waiting until the new year.. so here i go:
-have more confidence in my abilities, i often just give up on things, shut my brain off or do something poorly when i get frustrated and i want to prove to myself that i can do whatever and my only limitation is what i put on myself
-be more "girly". the last 3-4yrs have been taken over by pregnancy and babies and i have lived in sweats (which i've enjoyed and still do) but i want to rediscover the fun of dressing up and putting effort into my appearance and feel pretty. so this will include, clothes obviously, but also, maybe try to wear jewelry (i never do), try to do different things with my hair, even though my hair is not cooperative majority of the time, paint my fingernails and toenails sometimes. just little things. i know i will always be a simple girl bc that's just me, less is more to me, but sometimes a little something makes a big statement.
-add more veggies into the daily routine. i am proud of myself for losing weight on my own and exercising regularly, but i know i'm not getting as many veggies in as i should, so i want to find new ways to prepare and eat them. kinda thinking trying 1 new veggie a week or month will be fun.
-try out school. i never went to college, beauty school just doesn't count in my head. i've always thought about going, but again, marriage, pregnancy, kids, and here i am. so i am going to enroll and try it. i have no idea really what i want to do, but i want to see what it's like so i won't keep talking about it and not doing it. so english 101 (or something quite generic like that) here i come! plus there is a community college pretty much down the street from me. i'll only do like 1 class a semester or something.
-pay attention to the world. this goes with the first one kinda. this world makes me sad, the little that i do hear and tune into makes me feel horrible. but i know that not listening/turning off my ears, does not make it go away.
-keep taking time for me. when jamie was first born, and even now, i have trouble leaving my girls. as much as i want to get away from them at times, the second i walk out the door, mommy guilt hits me, so do all the sweet memories, and none of the tantrums and screaming for no reason memories. along with mommy guilt, i have wife guilt bc billy stays with them most of the time and i feel bad i'm not with him and also that usually he has worked all day and he comes home and i'm leaving to go have fun. i am getting alot better than i was, but i still want to get out and have "jody time".
there are more things i want to do. i will add to this later on. just wanted to get things written out so i can reread when i need to in the future.
-have more confidence in my abilities, i often just give up on things, shut my brain off or do something poorly when i get frustrated and i want to prove to myself that i can do whatever and my only limitation is what i put on myself
-be more "girly". the last 3-4yrs have been taken over by pregnancy and babies and i have lived in sweats (which i've enjoyed and still do) but i want to rediscover the fun of dressing up and putting effort into my appearance and feel pretty. so this will include, clothes obviously, but also, maybe try to wear jewelry (i never do), try to do different things with my hair, even though my hair is not cooperative majority of the time, paint my fingernails and toenails sometimes. just little things. i know i will always be a simple girl bc that's just me, less is more to me, but sometimes a little something makes a big statement.
-add more veggies into the daily routine. i am proud of myself for losing weight on my own and exercising regularly, but i know i'm not getting as many veggies in as i should, so i want to find new ways to prepare and eat them. kinda thinking trying 1 new veggie a week or month will be fun.
-try out school. i never went to college, beauty school just doesn't count in my head. i've always thought about going, but again, marriage, pregnancy, kids, and here i am. so i am going to enroll and try it. i have no idea really what i want to do, but i want to see what it's like so i won't keep talking about it and not doing it. so english 101 (or something quite generic like that) here i come! plus there is a community college pretty much down the street from me. i'll only do like 1 class a semester or something.
-pay attention to the world. this goes with the first one kinda. this world makes me sad, the little that i do hear and tune into makes me feel horrible. but i know that not listening/turning off my ears, does not make it go away.
-keep taking time for me. when jamie was first born, and even now, i have trouble leaving my girls. as much as i want to get away from them at times, the second i walk out the door, mommy guilt hits me, so do all the sweet memories, and none of the tantrums and screaming for no reason memories. along with mommy guilt, i have wife guilt bc billy stays with them most of the time and i feel bad i'm not with him and also that usually he has worked all day and he comes home and i'm leaving to go have fun. i am getting alot better than i was, but i still want to get out and have "jody time".
there are more things i want to do. i will add to this later on. just wanted to get things written out so i can reread when i need to in the future.
Sunday, October 10, 2010
mops
so i joined a program called MOPS (mother's of preschoolers). they meet all over in various churches and places and it's a place for moms to get together and hear a message, talk and make a craft and the kids go to their classes seperately. i have to say i was nervous and didn't know if i'd like it. sometimes that kind of stuff is just not my thing. however, we've gone twice now and i am really enjoying it! it is so nice to have a break from the kids and know that they are just a door away and being taken care of and if they need me, i can be there in 5seconds. (sidenote: they are both doing really well with being in their classes!) it's nice to hear from other moms that i am not the only one who struggles. it's nice to just sit somewhere and listen to other people speak and not have to attend to my girls and make sure they're being good and quiet. this last week they had the "mentor moms" (mothers with grown kids) say what they were thankful they had done when their kids were young. just hearing things they said made me feel good and made me want to make sure i was doing some of those things. hearing things they struggled with are the same things i struggle with and how they tried to remedy it. for me, motherhood gets so lonely and i feel so misunderstood with my emotions, so being with other moms who are on the same page (but with their own issues) is good i think. the craft that we made this week was a lemon hand scrub, that was fun, it'll be good to have when i need a good scrub after painting or something. i'm hoping to meet more new people and develop some new friendships that will go beyond the MOPS arena.
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